I'm Back!

Hi There! Honestly, it has been a rough summer for me. I couldn't bring myself to blog because it's hard to share when life gets shitty. I have wanted to post so many lovely events since Olivia's birthday party (how great are those photos?) but my disappointment has been a dark cloud following me.

print by Neil Robert Leonard

Let me start by saying I am a persistent person. Almost ten years ago it took Antz and I thirteen months and writing twelve offers before we finally bought our house. I would write letters to the homeowners, bug my realtor to call at all hours of the night and still we would be outbid by tens of thousands of dollars every time. Each time we didn't get the house, I was devastated but still continued to look, every weekend, more motivated than ever. It got to a point where Antz wanted to stop looking to wait for the Los Angeles crazy market to cool down. I couldn't stop. Well, actually I wouldn't stop. I knew there was a house for us (that we could actually afford) and we ended up with a much better house than all the others with a huge backyard in a now amazing neighborhood. I have always held out to get what I wanted rather than settle on what's easy.

So, I do what I can to achieve my goals but some things are just out of my control. I can only dream so hard but in order to manifest these dreams I have, it's going to take all the persistence in the world. I have been reluctant to share my dream on my blog because it's public and I wanted to share it once I have a confirmation. It's like not jinxing yourself, the more you talk about it, the less it happens. However, I was just so excited about it, I started sharing with close friends, and then not so close folks, and it got out of control when I caught myself telling the grocery store clerk. So here it is...

I have a dream to move to Paris for a year. Duh, if you know me it's all I ever talk about.

This is the apartment I found in Paris last March

I put together a solid plan to move by Spring of 2016. I spent months researching necessary paperwork, compiled a huge folder of required documents and talked to people who have lived abroad. Fortunately, last March, I was able to take a solo trip to Paris to surprise my best friend Aimee for my birthday but I was also apartment hunting and finding a school for Liv. I fell in love with a the perfect apartment and met with the rental agent to set everything up in person. I really felt at home in the neighborhood and took the metro alone all over the city. So I returned home really pumped because the plan to move there was falling into place. I wrote several blog posts detailing our moving abroad process. I have found so much information online and a few blogs have been invaluable for me to follow along on their journey living abroad. I made checklists and jumped for joy with every check I added. Then I hit a stand still. Reality slapped me on the backside. My version of reality was simple, we rent out our house in LA, propose to Antz job he works remotely from Paris and we enroll Liv in an International school. Getting a visa would have been manageable because Antz would still be employed by an American company. We had adequate health insurance and we were qualified for a carte de sejour (a twelve month tourist visa). I believe Liv would have an easy transition with French school since it's the same curriculum and she would still receive a few hours of English lessons at her new school. We put our things in storage and spend fifteen months traveling Europe, while immersing ourselves in French. It was a little more complex than it sounds but those are the highlights.

I found a gorgeous apartment, found the perfect school, went to the City Records office to get all our documents and began the visa process. Then it came down the most important factor, getting permission from Antz boss to work abroad. I stayed optimistic although knowing it was a 50/50 chance. To me the odds were working in our favor but it was a huge request to make. It would be different if Antz worked for himself but he works for a major corporation so they have guidelines for things like this. Still, I hoped, wished and prayed for a positive response.

Sadly, the answer was no. I write this with a lump in my throat. There was no room for my persistence. Antz job is our life. He has worked hard to get where he is in his career and he has his dream job. I felt devastated but was so grateful that he asked so I could make my dream come true. He did his best. I did all that I could. Yet there was only so much we could do further to make it happen. My plan could only work if I checked all the boxes and working abroad wasn't one that could be checked. So I fell into a depressed state. I couldn't bring myself to blog because I planned to share my good news. It's so hard to put this out there because I'm usually so cheerful and happy. I began to feel guilty for wanting this so bad that it was making me miserable. I am used to finding a way to make it work. Yet this is something out of my hands.

So this leaves me feeling sad and disappointed but ready to move on. I still have faith that we will move abroad one day but next year would have been absolutely perfect. I wanted to move while Olivia was still young enough to not feel too attached to her life here in LA. I would hate to uproot her, leave her friends and be the new kid at a foreign school. I am so grateful she will be fluent in French so it won't affect her so greatly. I am constantly thinking about how I can make it work. I have emotionally moved to Paris. I don't know how to detach my feelings but it all comes down to money. I remember so well feeling exactly the same way I do now during that year of looking for a house. I would say to Antz, if only we had more money but we ended up with a house that was less than the ones we put offers on. I can now look back to when I felt so hopeless and thank my lucky stars. It was meant to be for us and I know deep down that when we do move abroad, it will be so much sweeter. I will be able to live out my dream and it's a rare thing to make your dreams come true. I  have missed blogging so I am excited to get back into it and post what we have been up to this summer.

My last day in Paris "J'espère te revoir bientôt!"

Liv for Geronimo Balloons

Two years ago Anthony bought a lovely Geronimo balloon for my 36th birthday. While we were at her studio, Jihan asked to take some photos of Liv. Jennifer Young was the incredible photographer who shot Liv. Yesterday Antz and I cleaned out Liv's closet and got rid of stuff that no longer fit but I kept my favorite dress of hers, a black and white striped Misha Lulu dress.  I was in tears *is this just a Mom thing?* thinking of how much my little bebe has changed in two years. Her curls are so long now, her face is showing dimension, she tells us all the time that she's not a baby anymore and I am finding it difficult to accept. I still remember this day like it was yesterday. Anyway, here's the awesome photos Jennifer took of Liv for Geronimo.

Liv working

This photo is the best!! Her curls kill me

Thank you so much Jihan and Jennifer!!

Lizzie's Guide to choosing Private schools in Los Angeles

I would love to share our journey finding Olivia's incredible school. First, I would recommend watching Nursery University and Waiting for Superman on Netflix. Also subscribe to Beyond the Brochure. Please know, you do not have to be wealthy, have the best connections or even have the best luck. I do encourage patience, persistence and planning. This is a good article of what you want to look for in a private school.

I have this weird thing about hyper-planning. I will plan a vacation down to the minute on our itinerary, the penny for our budgets, hell, I even plan what photos I want to take. My point is, I like researching, organizing and making lists. I enjoy gathering all the information I can before committing. It's a good idea to get in the habit of being organized. Put together a folder with your child's birth certificate, their most current vaccinations, fill out admission applications in full. I have been asked to include a family portrait with applications so be sure it's one that leaves the impression you want to set. You will have to do your own homework when looking at schools. Attend the annual open house, *usually held in at the end of the year* schedule a tour of the campus or sit in on a class, meet the parents or older students and get their perspective. I asked one parent if the tuition was double would they still send their kid to the French school and she said absolutely!

Liv's teacher takes amazing photos of the class *there's a Romeo & Juliet in her class!*

When I began researching schools I knew I had a limited selection because I wanted a private school that was non-secular. I didn't want anything with too far of a commute, so many of the good schools I've heard of in the Valley or on the Westside were out. I focused mainly on Pasadena, La Canada/Flintridge and Silver Lake. Then I scoured websites, read online reviews and started narrowing down our choices. I really fell in love with a school close to the Rose Bowl but it presented too many problems for me. It only went to 6th grade so I would have to find a middle school and there are few good local middle schools. It was also very expensive at close the $30k per school year. We knew we would be investing in our child's future but it wouldn't do us any good draining all our finances for a school we couldn't afford comfortably. I was worried about potential snobbishness since the school was in an affluent area and lack of diversity. I got a book with a list of all the different private schools in LA and started looking into a multilingual program. It was a no-brainer for me to lean towards a French school mainly because of my fascination with French culture but also knowing our kid could learn Spanish directly from Grandma Maria *Antz Mom* I only knew of one French school on the Westside that is famous for it's alumni. When I looked further into it, I knew it was out of our price range and at least an hour drive each way. I spent a second interested in a new progressive school in Calabasas but again, spending 3 hours a day driving back and forth didn't make sense, even if the school was founded by a well-known celebrity *so glad I didn't seriously consider it!*

Some time went by and I found a school nearby that I've driven past for years but for some reason I always thought it was out of our league financially and we would be denied admission due to not being French citizens. I sort of dismissed it and focused on finding a good pre-school. When we found Camelot Kids Pre-school, I fell in love. I began meeting parents who knew people whose kids went to the French school but they all spoke French. The owner of Liv's pre-school told me about an open house in December of 2012. We went just to satisfy my curiosity, totally under the impression the school would be too expensive. Just driving up to the campus I was struck by how stimulating the campus was. Unlike most LA schools, there are no prison style fencing. The grounds are on six acres uptop a hill which gives it a sense of solitude away from the city. There is an organic garden that is tended by the students and the local community. The buildings are historically protected 1960s modern designed by famous architect John Lautner. I loved the concept that the children learn at different paces. So the kids with a French background don't have an advantage over non-French speaking kids. As a matter of fact, most of the kids that come from French speaking homes may understand it well but aren't speaking French confidently yet. The teachers said they usually become fluent around 1st and 2nd grade. It was astonishing to hear children speak French so effortlessly. I expected to only see French kids but there were Korean, African, Haitian, Swedish, Japanese, Hispanic all happy and eager to say Bonjour to us. I am so used to LA pissy attitude from kids that I was shocked to encounter such politeness and genuine courtesy. I know I may over-talk this school but honestly, I invite anyone to attend their open house and tell me if you aren't blown away by the history, the philosophy, the down-to-Earth feeling, the community awareness, the academic curriculum, so many awesome activities about the school will make you a believer. The tuition was pricey but not as expensive as other schools. I also loved the idea of Liv attending one school for her entire academic career. It makes her learning consistent and puts less pressure on me finding good schools later. I put Liv on the waiting list and was disheartened to discover she was on the 3rd tier list. The way the school works is priority is given to French students *one or more parent must speak French or have European citizenship* of course siblings are given priority admission, then other International students are on the second waiting list and folks like me with no French language are on the third list. The school only allows admission to non-French speaking students up to Kindergarten since the learning of a language is most effective during a child's first five years. I was hopeful but also nervous. The first year went by in a blink and by the following year I was sweating. We put her back on the waiting list but we were still at the bottom waiting in limbo. I was a mess when they finally called me for her interview last January. I was planning to send Liv to Camelot Kids full-time but I decided to continue part-time so we could save for the French school. We reached out and met parents from the French school. We asked people to put in a good word for us. We did as much as we could without a cash bribe. In hindsight, I didn't need to worry as much as I did because the school has three pre-school classes *close to 40 spots* and we were a perfect fit for the school. I am sure they seek students of different nationalities, students who show a desire to learn and parents who are committed to their kid's education. It's important to showcase your personality, for example, I don't have a French background but I'm still very knowledgeable about France and spending the summer there with Olivia was helpful. I still stressed out when we didn't hear anything and we started thinking about a plan B. There aren't that many French multilingual schools but people told me about charter schools *I wasn't so into the idea of lottery based admission* and top public schools in good neighborhoods *but really lacked diversity* Our hearts were set on the French school so we were willing to stay on the wait list another year with our fingers crossed. Well, just around the time to re-register Liv in Camelot Kids we got a phone call that Liv was accepted!

It took almost three years of waiting to get Liv into this dream school. I love her teachers! So far she already has made new friends and lucky for us, she has no qualms about speaking French aloud *she's much better at pronouncing her R's than I am* I have phrasebooks, iPad apps and my friend, Fanny is tutoring me once a week via Skype so I hope to keep up with her so we can practice together at home. I have already memorized the days of the week and the months of the year!

Her first visit to her classroom last month

She loves her new playground

Many people ask me why we chose a French-language school. Aside from being bilingual by 2nd grade, she will be challenged academically. We are excited that Liv will graduate with a dual diploma, an American high school diploma and French Baccalauréat which will make her eligible to attend any university in Europe. The fifth grade class spends two weeks in Paris for their class trip. The graduating class has 100% Ivy League school acceptance rate! The extra-curricular and athletic programs are excellent. The school embraces technology and is constantly upgrading their facilities. There is a strong alumni relationship and most of the students return to teach or volunteer for events. They celebrate many international holidays *so excited for Winterfest in Décembre* and have many cool field trips planned.

Liv's school is best described by their core values:

1. First and foremost, academic excellence.
2. Collaboration, communication and community.
3. Commitment to the curriculum.
4. Utmost respect for all individuals within the school community.
5. Cultural diversity.
6. Intellectual curiosity and open-mindedness.

I look forward to this new chapter in our lives. J'aime l'école française!

Thanks for all the support and well-wishers, we are so happy to share this adventure with you. Bonne chance!

Disappointment has me in a Chokehold

I have had a stroke of bad luck in the last month. I'm not normally unhappy yet too many things not going in my favor has got me down. I am sure it's the aftermath of our magnificent trip to Europe. I am positive I am suffering from a disease called I need to live in Paris in order to be happy-itis. It makes it that much harder to come back to the routine of LA life; drop off, pick up, rush to classes, making lunches, playdates, cleaning the house, sleep and repeat. Plus no matter how much I buy, we always seem to be out of milk! *I know Mom's who also work full-time are rolling their eyes so hard right now*  I am very fortunate to have everything I do but I am stuck in a rut. I am starting to become disillusioned to what purpose this blog serves me. I spend too much time comparing and critiquing myself to other professional bloggers. Which turns into complaining and feeling pissy that I don't have a fancy looking blog too. I know that they have backgrounds in graphic arts, have financially invested so much time and money in their business and have a unique brand. In contrast to me uploading un-edited photos and posting whatever when I feel like it. I haven't attempted to market or brand my blog. I don't even know how to identify my blog. I would love to have a popular blog but when I see the shiny, glittery prettiness I feel the impulse to vamp up my site yet without much coding skills and limited sources here on Blogger, it leaves me frustrated.

A fortune cookie has never been truer

Then there's the model/talent biz. I have hustled for four years seeking an agent for Olivia. I am not exaggerating when I say whenever we leave the house strangers come up to me saying how cute Liv is, how much they love her hair, how much personality she has. This kid is a natural born entertainer. I have been asked so many times if she models but I just shrug my shoulders and say sometimes. Every six months I've submitted her head shots to the few child agencies in LA. I have tried my best to network and get my foot in the door to get Liv some work. I am so grateful I have been able to get Liv the jobs I have but I want her to make some money for her to do with whatever she chooses in the future. Several weeks ago I emailed the photos from our photo shoot with Lee in London to some agencies and after four straight years of rejections we finally we got a response! I was finally feeling like my luck has changed and my persistence has paid off. I worked my butt off gathering all her paperwork, getting a work permit, opened a Coogan bank account and getting new headshots.

Photo by Scott Pitts *I love these so much!*

There were tons of hoops to jump through but I got everything done within a week. I was so excited that Liv could spend the remainder of the summer going on auditions and possibly getting booked for paying jobs. Lo and behold, the summer was over in a blink of an eye and even though I was scouring the acting and modeling websites everyday for work for Liv we haven't heard a peep from her agency. I totally understand it never happens overnight, yet I feel like I've been waiting for four years. I am 100% committed to Liv's career. I am by no means a stage Mom, I only take jobs that are appropriate and fun but all I have heard five weeks later are crickets. I'm further frustrated by reading how easy and quick other kids book major campaigns. Meanwhile I'm solicited Liv's photos to every children's line I can with no response. I haven't even gotten that first audition so to feel this level of rejection stings. I will never give up and I have faith in my kid's talent but I wish the ball could get rolling. Patience is key but sometimes you have to know when it's time to move on.

Ugh, I don't even want to get into all the other drama I've had lately. Broken windows, unexpected costs, cancelled plans, not to mention the shock of Liv's new school tuition. It an understatement to say I'm overwhelmed. I so desperately want to learn French but speed I am moving at is driving me insane. Aimee and I are both practicing as much as we can but neither of us know the correct pronunciation. I am happy to have my BFF to learn with but she's so much stronger at learning it than I am it leaves me feeling lame. I mean Mila Kunis moved here from Russia and she learned English from TV!


She makes it look so easy!

So friends, here I am feeling sorry for myself. Feeling silly for exposing my first world problems. I scroll through the impeccable world of Instagram and wonder do any of these people have a non-confetti filled day, less than perfect meal, do they ever go #ootd in a ratty, awful outfit? I can't image anyone but myself being brave enough to admit their life was anything less than Pinterest-worthy. I know everyone has problems but for me when it rains, it pours. I am feeling rather emo and it sucks. I hope this is all PMS-based and I snap out of it soon. I have a quick road trip to San Francisco to look forward to. I hope it goes well even though the whole reason for the trip has been cancelled *sad*. It's so disappointing when plans fall through. I try my best to follow through when I say I'll do something but not everyone has that quality. I really feel like this.

Cimetiere du Pere Lachaise: The Lost Photos

How creepy is it that while we were in Paris half of the photos I took at Pere Lachaise cemetary went mysteriously missing? Well, yesterday I finally took the plunge and restored my iPhone so I could upgrade to IOS 7. I was reluctant to do it since I am technologically challenged and I could have lost everything on my phone. I waited patiently for 3 hours for the restore to complete. I was able to successfully update my iPhone and everything on my iPhone was backed up. I even was able to finally download the new Party Party app. I made my first video to celebrate National Lipstick Day. Then I panicked when my iPhoto decided to all of a sudden crash on my macbook. I had to repair my library but for some strange reason when iPhoto restarted there was a folder that said "Recovered Photos" Hmm, I opened it and found a bunch of old photos I had previously deleted but there was about 200 of the 400 photos I lost in Paris. Sweet! So now I can show some of the photos we took when we were at Pere Lachaise cemetary and our visit to a cute craft store La Doguerie and a few of rue Montorgueil *sadly the rest are still missing*

ma petite fille française

I spotted this all over the city

Thankfully my lips didn't fall off from disease!

Her tombstone wins

So Gatsby-esque

Victor Noir's poor crotch

Sarah Bernhardt was the It Girl of Paris

Here lies Jim Morrison *his grave is blocked off due to excess vandalism*

"Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most" - Willy Wonka

We took the metro over to Les Halles in the 3rd and did some shopping

Channeling my inner Sia

We had so much fun in here until one of the cranky clerks told us we couldn't take photos. I never understand why some shop's have that dumb policy.

rue Montorgueil is on of the most popular pedestrian streets in Paris. It's similar to the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica.

Tasting sorbet

Nope, we did not try any escargot!

 What a pleasant surprise to find these photos!