Violently Happy: The long Road to Stardom

Today I am feeling bummed. I am so frustrated with myself because I wish I could just give up trying to get Liv into modeling. I feel disillusioned, everyone thinks their kid is the cutest, smartest and most awesome, so maybe I'm chasing the same dream millions of other folks have that may never come true. I shouldn't be getting upset over this but it's difficult when so many strangers come up to me and tell me how adorable or pretty Liv is and when I submit her photos to agencies and kid's clothing lines, I hear nothing in return. I didn't think it would be as easy as walking down the street and a casting director spots her and shouts "There's my next star!" and next thing you know she's starring on her own show on Nickleodeon "The iLiv Show". I have been hooked up with agency owners, friends of friends who are with major agencies and even people who work at the clothing company directly with promising leads that seem to go nowhere. I know I'm impatient, I also sound very much like a crazy stage Mom and that is bothering me the most. Liv's childhood is a magical time. She deserves to enjoy being a kid and not working or stressing out over adult problems. I just think it would be so rad for Liv's lovely face to be in a catalog or a lookbook while padding her college savings account. I'm not giving up but the industry is so complicated, I read awful things about agencies and I've watched documentaries about Moms who rent apartments and subject their kids to Pilot Season and end up spending hundreds of thousands for acting classes, head shots and therapy. I would never fall into those traps but it seems impossible to get a foot in the door. Baby Gap now discovers their models through an extensive contest that rewards the kid with the most relatives to vote online rather than cool looking kids that have the Baby Gap look *which I've been told Liv has* I wish I could get some honest feedback because maybe it's just Liv doesn't have the right look. I was told that some agencies don't take children with similar looks so there's no direct competition and I've seen plenty of kids with Liv's look.

Zuri's video has a little girl who looks pretty close to Olivia. She also has been going through a phase where she doesn't want to cooperate with posing for pictures. Most of the time she's into it, but she has moments when you will not get a photo of her no matter what.

Sigh, I suppose this isn't something I can force. If it happens, it has to be the right place at the right time. I don't want to make myself miserable wondering why and taking the rejection *or even lack of rejection* personally. I did some small scale modeling as a kid and I even took acting classes when I was 11. I never had a career or anything but I remember learning how to improv and the classes helped me overcome stage fright. I want Olivia to learn confidence and poise from every life experience, from good to sucky ones. I just see such a stunning girl when I look at these.

Giving us her Kate Moss pose

Pretty intense eyes for a 23 month old

In other news, last night we went to the NELA art walk. It was super fun, I saw our old friend Aja and bumped into the guy who works at the post office.