Monday, September 30, 2013

So Damn Good!

Love the season premiere of SNL with Tina Fey hosting.  So funny!

Breaking Bad finale.  So fucking Good!
Brilliant Artwork by my friend Jeff Victor

I will cry my damn eyes out if I don't get these for Christmas! So rad!!
MARC BY MARC JACOBS 'Sleeping Bunny' Slipper | Nordstrom
MARC BY MARC JACOBS 'Sleeping Bunny' Slipper
Dinner with Padrinos at Columbos Eagle Rock.  So yummy! *Not pictured, the most amazing bruschetta I have ever had!*

Antz wrapped meat lasagna
My chicken fettuccine
And guess who didn't feel like taking photos?
Princess Bratface!
Grammy Bobbye coming to Liv's school for a drum demo. So much fun!

*I have tons more photos and video coming soon*

I miss my BFF, she just got back from a vacay in Vegas. She went to a Mötley Crüe concert. HESHER! So fucking cute!!
Super rad in my bunny ears
I convinced her to stay at The Palms *she saw Big Ang taping Mob Wives there*

And finally, my laptop will not add one more photo because the memory is full so I have to take it in for service. So fucking LAME!!!

I'll be back when my laptop isn't being dumb.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A thing about Machines

I am a huge Twilight Zone nerd. I have seen every single episode *although I'm not so keen on the war or western ones* So there is one particular episode about a man named Bartlett Finchley which is seriously amazing. Played by Richard Haydn who I remember from my Catholic school upbringing as Max Detweiler from the Sound of Music. Finchley has a problem with machines. Radios, televisions, typewriters and even clocks conspire against him. He often needs to hire repairmen to fix appliances that are malfunctioning and no one believes that the machines are the trouble. He has a feisty attitude and is mean-tempered.

Firstly, this dude is obviously gay. Yet, it's the 1960's so Finchley is closeted but he wears ascots and smoking jackets with a fierceness. He ices my cold black heart with this sneering phrase.

"Alright dear friends, you may remain on my property goggling at this astonishing sight for another three and a half minutes. If when I return with my car keys, you are not off my property, I shall enlist the aide of this underpaid gendarme to forcibly eject you...IDIOTS!"

Best episode ever!!

So, what the hell does Finchley have to do with me? We suffer from the same affliction. We are technophobes *although I really adore technology, I just suck at keeping the shit working* Every electronic gadget I have ever owned has inexplicably broken. I have gone through several ipods, iphones and even the fridge in our house has cost us a fortune in repair bills. You have heard my constant whining about about my computers and cameras *yeah, I still have not taken the Nikon in for service* I often wonder why I even bother purchasing warranties which never seem to work in my favor.

This past weekend, I felt the urge to kick Antz ass in a game of tennis, on the Wii of course *ew, sweat!* So I popped in the disc and oddly, the Wii wouldn't read it. I'm used to seeing error messages so I tried again thinking the disc may need cleaning. I used my old school CD cleaning kit and so I wiped the seven year old scratched disc. Same message, Unable read disc please remove disc, restart console. Grrr! I try this several times using other games to no avail. I am frothing at the mouth with irritation. Feeling stumped with frustration, I turn to the internet for solutions. I watch a few youtube videos of young boys offering their solutions but don't feel comfortable using a homemade lens cleaner made from an old dvd and bandaids on my Wii. I asked my cousin his advice but it led to me having to purchase a Nintendo lens cleaner set from Amazon. So now my Wii is only good for watching Netflix until I get the cleaning kit.

Then last night, my electronic curse unfortunately moved onto Anthony. He went to use his laptop and his Wacom tablet wasn't working. We tried everything. It wouldn't start, I tried plugging it on my laptop, we uninstalled drivers and reinstalled them. Updated till the wee hours of the night. Finally we gave up. I was under the impression it was still covered under warranty since we just bought it last year but as fate would have it, it expired in August. Sigh. We have come to the conclusion it may be a faulty USB cord, *hopefully* so I have to go pick one up.

I haven't updated my iphone to the new ios 7 because A. my iphone doesn't have enough space to download it and B. I am afraid it will break my damn phone! Am I the only one who has a thing about machines? I am a certifiable gadget killer.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

My Dream Job *and why I would suck at it*

Today my favoritest website in all the internet Dlisted, posted this.

Dlisted is looking for an intern.

Because I get yelled at to post faster, post more and stop trolling eBay all day for Shauna Sand memorabilia, I’m finally looking for some help. I’m looking for an intern, but it could become permanent. I know some of you, so I know you’re asking, “How much?!” It does pay and no, I won’t pay you with Shauna Sand memorabilia. But I can if that’s what you want and who wouldn’t want to be paid with Shauna Sand memorabilia?
Here’s the requirements to be Dlisted’s first intern:

1. You can live wherever, but you must have your own laptop and Internet access.
2. You must be into pop culture. You should be a regular reader of Dlisted, because the stuff that comes out of my mouth barely makes sense and it really doesn’t make sense if you don’t read Dlisted.
3. It’s a total plus if you know the basics of Photoshop. You’ll need to use it to crop images and to Photoshop out my zits on my Facebook profile pics.
4. You must MUST must be able to throw a last-minute fashion show in your mom’s backyard.

Your responsibilities will include writing posts, finding pictures, researching, handling social media stuff and transcribing scenes from Showgirls with me on IM.
If you’re interested, e-mail a short note about yourself, resume (if you have one) and a writing sample (or a link to your Twitter page and/or blog) to The deadline for applications is Friday, September 27th. 

My friends seem to think I was born for this job mostly because I'm a celebwhore/stalker/pop culture nerd. I have too much free time on my hands and not enough pesos in my bank account. Win-win right?


I may be one thousand posts deep over here at the back of the short bus of not cool bloggers but when it comes to writing, I am totally insecure. It takes me hours to write "Today I went to Target!" and all the other inane blabber I write about here. Also, I post at the weirdest times, despite reading Oh Joy's How Not to Suck at Blogging book, I never keep a schedule. Most of my blog time is in the wee hours of the night when Liv and Antz have gone to sleep and my insomnia this site keeps me up. So following a schedule would be a nightmare. I don't organize or plan any posts, seriously. I will be driving and a brilliant idea for a feature will pop up and I compose the most genius post but by the time I get home, I have completely forgotten most of it so I half-assedly compose some semblance of what I could remember *ie: most of my posts turn into incoherent rambling, as you may already know

Another important issue, I would be judged by the entire internet. Have you ever read a comment from Dlisted? They would rip me a new asshole and then do me in it with no vaseline. I could never compete with Sweetas or the great and powerful legend himself, Michael K.

He's so freaking cute but he's like Banksy, he stays hidden from the public.
That's too much pressure for me to handle. I can be funny sometimes *more in a they are laughing at me not with me kind of way* and I know a few things about celebrities *I could write a wikipedia article about Rojo Caliente and Prince Hot Ginge* but I am not clever enough to tackle the hot mess trifecta of Phoebe Price, Shauna Sands or Courtney Stodden. 

Phoebe Price picture #27619
Chicken Cutlets
Shauna Sand Lamas
The Empress of Lucite
The Porn Iguana
Finding these three photos took me 6 months in blog time. I no longer even have Photoshop on this computer *which is on the verge of needing replacing cause guess who filled the memory to capacity!* I am the worst speller *Thank Allah for spell check* and obviously have the grammar skills of an imbecile. I cannot watch Showgirls in it's entirety without throwing up. See, already disqualified!

All being said, I adore Michael K. I hope whoever gets the position will keep up with his high level of wit, snark and ghetto references. This guy blows me away with his extensive knowledge of things from the hood. I will stay here where I am comfy, snarking on the down low.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Go see Sample This the Movie

My Mommy is a fucking rockstar!! If you love music, go see her in the documentary Sample This. It's playing at the Lammele Noho until Friday Sept. 19th. Antz and I went to the screening of this film last year. I was crying like an idiot full of pride hearing my Mommy speak about her extensive career. She is an amazing woman and there's no one like her. I hope Olivia has inherited her ambition, her passion and her talent.

Here's a few reviews of the documentary. It's really a fascinating story.

Film Review: Sample This

We’ve all danced at some time another to the rhythmic “Apache,” even if we didn’t know it, and this highly enjoyable doc reveals the incredibly colorful and variegated tale behind it.

Sept 12, 2013
-By David Noh


For movie details, please click here.
Nothing less than a loose but pretty exhaustive history of pop music in the last 50 years or so, Dan Forrer’s Sample This focuses on the great drummers who’ve kept the beat going from Bing Crosby to today’s hip hop. He frames his film around the story of producer Michael Viner (1944-2009), whose Incredible Bongo Band, comprised of the best percussionists of the day, created the seminal instrumental “Apache,” probably the most ubiquitously sampled record in music history.

Viner had a colorful, huckster-ish life, starting with his first novelty hit, “The Best of Marcel Marceao” (with that curious spelling) consisting of total mime-silence followed by applause. He was one of those fluke geniuses who managed to corral big talent with, in the case of “Apache,” fabulously enduring, unexpected results. Forrer’s doc is densely populated by interviews with those unsung heroes of an age: the bewilderingly virtuosic studio musicians who’ve hung in there long after the stars they’ve worked with, from Sinatra to Presley to Amy Winehouse, crashed and burned. Legendary names like Michael Melvoin, Perry Botkin, Jerry Scheff, Jerry Butler, Robbie King, Mike Deasy and the great bongo-banging Bobbye Hall are interviewed or, if deceased, gloriously evoked.

These music guys also had serious interactions with history, like Viner, whose pal Roosevelt Grier was right there when Bobby Kennedy was assassinated (and who appeared in the outlandish Viner-produced The Thing with Two Heads, his skull grafted onto the body of Ray MiIlland—or was it vice versa?). Mike Deasy, now a born-again preacher after serious drug years, had a connection to Charles Manson and was a friend of producer Terry Melcher, who owned the house were Sharon Tate and friends were murdered.
Although many of these musicians are miraculously hale and hearty—and prove thus in a recent Incredible Bongo Band reunion session, jamming away on the “Hawaii FIve-0” theme—the tale of one of their number, charismatic drummer Jim Gordon, is not only cautionary but horrific. After a blazingly bright career, he bottomed out on drugs and alcohol, became “possessed” by demons and gruesomely murdered his mother, for which he is still serving time.

Through so many of these events, however, the irresistibly funky “Apache” lived on and was rediscovered by DJ Kool Herc in the 1970s, who sampled its drum breaks while spinning music for ecstatically enthusiastic New York dance crowds. As rap and hip hop music rose to the predominance it now enjoys, countless other artists also employed it to juice up their own tracks, and continue to do so. As one pundit puts it here, “There is nothing more hip or hop than ‘Apache.’” Forrer charts the rise of hip hop culture, with its attendant, still extant highlights of “scratching” and break-dancing, with affectionate incisiveness through interviews with Herc, Afrika Bambaata, Melle Mel and Grandmaster Caz, giving his film a really universal appeal to music lovers, whether they’re into rock or rap, and showing how true talent can truly encompass all genres.


Sample This: Film Review

Sample This - H 2013

The Bottom Line

This improbably fascinating documentary will be manna from heaven to pop culture devotees.


Dan Forrer


Gene Simmons

Dan Forrer's documentary delves into the history of the little-known instrumental song that became one of the most sampled tracks in pop music history.

For a film about a little-known song by a now forgotten band, Sample This manages to weave in a wealth of pop culture wanderings into its tapestry. The song, “Apache,” originally appeared on a 1973 album by Michael Viner’s Incredible Bongo Band, a group of studio musicians assembled by Viner, a producer whose previous credits included the hit novelty album The Best of Marcel Marceau, which consisted of silence followed by the sound of audience clapping. While the song made little impact initially, it was later discovered by DJs and hip-hop artists and improbably went on to become one of the most sampled tracks in pop music history.
But that’s not even the most compelling element of Dan Forrer’s entertaining if disjointed documentary, which delves into the history of the track and its creators with a near obsessive attention to detail. Among the colorful elements featured in the film are the assassination of Robert Kennedy (a young Viner was one of his aides); the campy horror film The Thing With Two Heads; the Charles Manson murders; the possible participation of Ringo Starr on the album; and the notorious gangster Johnny Roselli and his possible role in the CIA’s plot to kill Fidel Castro and the subsequent JFK assassination.
“Apache,” which one onscreen commentator describes as “the national anthem of hip-hop,” was originally written by a British songwriter inspired by American westerns and recorded by the band The Shadows. The obscure instrumental was later covered by the Incredible Bongo Band, which had been created by Viner to contribute a couple of songs to the soundtrack of The Thing With Two Heads, which starred the improbable onscreen duo of Rosey Grier and Ray Milland.
The song languished in obscurity until it was rediscovered a few years later by DJ Kook Herk, who made it a staple of his Bronx dance parties. It was later covered by The Sugarhill Gang and eventually became a hip-hop staple, used by artists including Missy Elliot, Amy Winehouse, Nas, LL Cool J, The Roots and countless others.
While the film narrated by Gene Simmons largely eschews delving into exploring the cultural impact of sampling on pop music, it endlessly explores the fascinating characters involved in the song’s creation and evolution. Among the members of the Incredible Bongo Band were such musicians as guitarist Mike Deasey, who was once briefly had a connection with Manson; drummer Jim Gordon, who later suffered from severe emotional illness and went to prison for killing his mother; and bongo player King Errisson, who was befriended in Jamaica by Sean Connery during the filming of Thunderball.
It’s a fascinatingly eccentric, if digressive, tale, recounted through a combination of archival footage and interviews with such figures as Afrika Bambaataa, Questlove, Freda Payne, Melle Mel and Jerry Butler, among many others. A joyous coda features the band’s surviving members reuniting to jam on the Hawaii Five-0 theme song.

Opens: Friday, Sept. 13 (GoDigital, Inc.)
Director/screenwriter: Dan Forrer
Producer: Bob Burris
Director of photography: Philip Hurn
Editor: Michael Levine
Composer: Perry Botkin Jr.
Not rated, 85 minutes

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The //100p// Project by Marcello Ambriz

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. It was an interesting day for Olivia and me. I somehow finagled my way into getting our portrait taken by a friend of a friend. I saw Marcello was working on a project on Instagram. Sort of joking, I asked if he needed any volunteers. He said sure and in a half an hour we were sitting for our portrait. Lesson learned, it never hurts to ask, lovelies! I'm usually wary about having my photo taken straight on and without smiling I think I look mean but I love how our portraits turned out. Of course, Liv was a pro even though she was feeling shy. Marcello is super talented. I'm so honored to be a part of his 100 portraits project.

The link to the entire project is here.

Here's our portraits.

This one is my favorite *I totally look like a real estate agent*

Thanks Marcello for the lovely photos! Now we're off to a birthday party.

Happy Saturday!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Pippi Longstocking the Liv Edition

Over a year ago my friend Aura came to visit me. She lives in Finland which I hope to go visit her one day. This lady is so sweet, she brought Liv an authentic Pippi Longstocking costume from Sweden! I was so super stocked!

Liv, Sofia & Elina
We took Aura to lunch at Frida's at the Americana
Aura  made this flower balloon for Liv, the guy in the blue shirt asked her for a balloon for his kids, she made them their balloon animal of choice. He asked how much and she said, next time you see a kid who can't afford a toy, just buy it for him. How fucking cool is she? I was totally in tears about how kind hearted my friend is!

So a few days ago, I put on our Pippi Longstocking dvd *the original crazy dubbed 1970's version* for Liv to watch. She loved it! If you haven't introduced Inger Nilsson in your child's life, you need to, she is so badass. I persuaded Olivia to take off her Cinderella dress for 5 seconds and wear her awesome Pippi costume. Aimee and me were dying over how rad her costume was, complete with wires in the braids to make them stick out. I tried my best to get a good shot but she wasn't in the mood for pictures. Darn kids and their free will...

So this is how the kid throws up the peace sign, totally gangster!
Next time she has to wear some of Dads shoes so it looks more Pippi.
Tommy, Pippi & Annika
Kiitos, my dear friend. I hope to come see you and the lovely girls soon!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Oh, Bebe! The junk you will need.

My dear friends are having a baby girl so I thought I could put together a mini guide for the parents-to-be.
Congrats Story & Chris!!
Bebe Essentials:

Maternity Clothes
Most ladies can skirt through their pregnancy without having to purchase actual maternity clothes, stretchy waist pants, skirts along with maxi dresses made with a jersery fabric are great.

These pieces were comfy but not maternity
I loved Gap Maternity and Target. I tried to buy stuff I could wear after bebe and I still wear a lot of those dresses today. Nordstrom carries Bella Bands which are crucial for preggers ladies who want to stay in their jeans. Medela made the best nursing bras from my experience. My boobs were enormous the first few weeks so it was essential to have a nursing bra that fit well and I could wear 24/7 and feel comfortable.


We went high end with our bassinet, but luckily we were able to sell it once she outgrew it.You want a piece that is easy to move to whatever room you will be in. It doesn't have to rock, I don't remember rocking Liv that often in ours. I like this folding crib for space saving. Liv slept with us more than in her crib for the first year, so this is a great temporary crib until you choose a long term bed.

Crib Bedding/Blankets

Olivia was fortunate enough to receive a lovely crib bedding set from our bebe shower. So before you shell out a lot of money on bedding, add it to your registry first.

We purchased this set for her crib and really, that's all she has ever needed. We rotate back and forth between the two sets when it's time for laundry. Lately, she loves pink so we haven't used the orange set as often. Most important is buying a few waterproof sheets. They will protect your mattress and they last for a long time. I love this crib set and this one if you are anti-bumper.

*We used a bumper, gasp, and had no trouble at all but it's something to consider.

Aden + Anais make the best swaddling blankets hands down. They are lightweight but long enough to swaddle the wiggliest of bebes. I used this set and loved it.

Dresser/Changing Table

A changing table isn't necessarily an essential. Folks use couches, beds and mostly the floor which is the easiest location for a squirmy bebe. We lucked out when we bought our crib and got a bargain for the changing table and dresser/hutch for a deal.

Oeuf furniture has held up exceptionally well for the past 4 years. The dresser has just enough storage to house her vast wardrobe but I do have to stay on top of donating her clothes that she outgrows *although I've been keeping so many pieces for sentimental reasons, HOARDER!*

A peek into Liv's drawers
Car Seat

You really need a car seat that comes with a separate base, and buy an extra base if you have two cars. You want one that is easy to move in and out *cause your gonna be doing this often*. I suggest a canopy to keep the sun out of bebe's face. I hope Story & Chris are fortunate enough to have a bebe who loves car rides. Liv has always loved riding in the car so we still take her for a night drive if we can't get her to sleep. Choose a car seat that is comfy for bebe, and a material that won't make your bebe too warm.

Graco Snugride Click Connect 35 LX Car Seat-Coco
My Mom gifted us a Peg Perego
A boppy. Even if you don't breastfeed *you better!* they are a must-have. I used that boppy every single day for two years. They prop bebe up and are a total lifesaver for feedings. Register for two covers so you have a back up when one is dirty.


Speaking of feeding, we used Medela bottles and I used a manual breast pump. I never had the chance to freeze my breastmilk, so I'd suggest sticking with Medela if you go that route.


I am sticking with our Bugaboo bee. We loved the features of our bee but I also like the Chameleon. Liv grew well with it and it was easy to use. The bee functions well, you can use it facing forward and rear, it tilts so bebe can nap comfortably using the cocoon. We never needed a jogging stroller since the handling on the bee is smooth. Liv is a super tall kid, so we stopped using it a little after her second birthday which coincided with her desire to either walk everywhere or have her daddy carry her *which he still does even though she's almost 40lbs!*

One week old!
Two years old

Baby Carrier

I used our baby carrier ten times more often than our stroller. When bebe is new, you want as much skin to skin bonding as possible. Since I wanted a carrier that would be comfortable for my large *giant* frame and wanted something Antz could use too, I decided against a sling carrier. I didn't want anything with metal so the Baby Hawk was our best option. Let me tell you, it took tons of convincing Antz it was safe. He was sure the knots would loosen and Liv would fall out. After the first time I put it on him, he was a believer. I ordered ours with extra long straps since we are so tall so it gave us room to tie our knots triple times for that extra reassurance.

I loved the BabyHawk, still have it!
Liv's first trip to the beach
These are some essentials that I couldn't live without. There are other options but these worked best for me. Here's a full list of items to register for.

A & D Ointment!! I am a huge advocate for this miracle in a tube for diaper rash prevention. Liv stayed rash free by dabbing a bit of ointment in every diaper. It kept her bum smooth and comfy.

Diaper Dekor - Holds tons of dirty diapers and kept the odors in control.

Wipes Warmer - Cause noone likes a cold wipe on the bum.

Grooming Kit - Has most of what you need like nail clippers, thermometer, comb, brush and nasal aspirator. This one is great for clogged noses, it gets bonus points for being called the Snotsucker.

Bathtub - We didn't use this guy as much as I would have liked but filling up the tub and then moving it to the kitchen for room to bathe Liv was cumbersome *this was in our shitty plumbing days* However, we received this as a gift so we would splurge now and then and use this bath in her early days. She still takes showers with me most of the time.

Hooded bathtowel - Keep bebe warm, Liv's lamb is soft and adorable.

Soap, Shampoo & Lotion - I found Mustela to smell the best and work well for Liv's skin. This may vary for every bebe's skin type. We used Baby Neutrogena for sunscreen. Now that she's older I typically use Baby Aveeno for soap and shampoo.

Pacifier - The best one you will use will come from the hospital. Don't forget to bring home all the freebies from the hospital *I still use a burp cloth and waterproof pad we got from Huntington* Liv didn't use a pacifier for long but when she was teething we used this guy.

Sophie the giraffe - No, she's not a dog chew toy. Every happy bebe has one, she's the best! Register for two cause you'll lose one or it will get dirty from bebe dropping her.

Bebe clothes - We bought just about everything *on sale* from Baby Gap.

Activity mat - We bought ours from Giggle but it's sold out. Liv used it everyday for tummy time. She liked the mirror and we added toys that would rattle. We sold most of her bebe stuff but I am keeping this guy until I no longer have room for it. Call me crazy...


We received this swing at our bebe shower so I never had the chance to research swings or bouncers. This one played classical music and had different speeds. It was a Godsend! I would put Liv in there and could actually go to the bathroom or eat food without holding her. She would always fall asleep in there.

When she was old enough to hold her head up, her Godmommy got her this jumper. It's excellent for strengthening their legs and allowed her to use hand-eye coordination. You can only keep them in there for a few minutes at a time but she loved that jumper.

How rad are her orange Adidas?

Don't forget to request a bebe greeting from the White House. It's a lovely keepsake for those of you who are fond of our current president.

Hope this is helpful. You can also check out my previous bebe guides here and here.

Hooray for my friend's sweet bebe girl! I am super excited to meet her.